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Great Reads by Rovanna

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Submitted on
April 21, 2012
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

To Become a Cleric

Wanted ads on the bulletin board were always alike. Even after the many times they were updated, each request still wanted the same thing: A bulky warrior with a dog's brain capacity or a Cleric with healing abilities. Though the ads never stated which kind of cleric abilities were required, it was always their famous spell: resurrection.

Before the discovery of the resurrection spell, most quests consisted of party members with selective skills that ensured no one would get hurt or killed in the line of battle. That time, however, became a thing of the past. Today, Warriors thought it best to run into battles weapons held high, screaming out war songs minutes before they were brutally killed. No real strategy because right after death the Cleric would just revive them into existence and after a quick rest, they were up and charging back into battle. The whole party system based on unique design had eventually died and was replaced by a gang of physically powerful warriors with a healer or two.

This left many other types of fighters without work, and constantly yearning for adventure.

A boy, wrapped in what appeared to be a blanket made of wolf pelts, continued to look over the wanted ads for something that he could participate in. His eyes shifted to random ads, trying to find anything that would catch his interest. It wasn't long before he gave off a defeated sigh and took a few steps away from the board.

Firo Vita was his name, a healing potion magically disguised as a human male in his early twenties. He had just recently awakened from years of slumber due to an unnatural disturbance within the world. He hadn't  pieced together how and why he came into existence; at the moment, he didn't really care.

After traveling with a few gangs of people - and being chased off by some, he came to the town of Lorvic where they say one can become a Cleric and use the divine powers of the Gods. Since he could already heal people without the use of prayer, Firo found it hard that such a magic was indeed "divine." Thus, he had no problem mentioning such a heathenry during his entrance exam to the Cleric's Guild - he was turned away a few words of prayer and a toss of chilled holy water.

Hence, why he stood in front of the bulletin board draped in a blanket.

A woman dressed in white garbs quickly approached him from behind and grabbed him by the shoulder. "You mustn't be out here dressed like that Mr. Vita. Please, come with me." The woman had already taken Firo a great distance before he even had a chance to retaliate.

He twisted his arm around until he could break free and quickly halted in his step. "Who are you? Where were you taking me? How do you know my name?"

The woman turned around with a welcoming smile and eagerly took off her hood so that Firo could get a better look at her features. Her hair was short and dark, but long enough for a single ponytail with dark-brown eyes that made him feel warm just by looking into them. The emblem on the front of her attire reminded him of the same image used for the Cleric's Guild.

Firo reached out, his fingers moving around the emblem on the woman's clothes while he smiled, "You are from the Cleric's Guild!"

The women gritted her teeth before swatting at the boy's hand, "Mind your manners!"

Firo lowered his head, "I'm sorry."

She cleared her throat, "Mr. Vita. I am here because the guild has decided to recruit you. Although you are a bit of a heathen, the fact that you can use healing magic without any experience within the guild makes us wonder…"

Firo looked around, his attention slowly wandering as he caught a glimpse of a bird waddling on the ground. When questions about his healing powers came up, he rarely found much excitement in telling others. During his recent awakening, the man who first saw him told him that he should never reveal what he really was because greedy people would take advantage of him. So far, his true identity has yet to come up in conversation. Even though it is apparent people are more interested in Clerics.

The woman continued to talk, "…like all the Clerics who join our ranks; you must do one thing to show that you are holy enough to receive the gift in general."

"Sounds interesting." He played with the furs on his blanket while he tried to keep it from sliding off his shoulders. His eyes glanced back over to the bird that was now getting ready to fly. "So, once I do this one task; I will be able to study cleric spells and learn how to resurrect people?"

The woman nodded proudly.

In today's age, Clerics were somewhat famous. Even though they were abused for their ability to revive fallen comrades, they were almost a rare breed. This was due to the severity of the first task given to all soon-to-be-Clerics.

The woman leaned in close and lowered her tone so that only Firo could hear what she had to say, "The guild leaders want you to bring them a bottle filled with demon's blood."

Firo clenched his fist and gave the woman a determined look, "Right! I shall do that." He paused for a minute and then cocked his head to the side, "Demon's blood? What would a Cleric need with demon's blood?"

"How else are we supposed to purify it to make you into a Cleric?"

"Oh! I see… that kind of makes sense to me." Firo nodded his head to the woman before cocking his head to the side again, "How will I get that close enough to-"

The woman cut him off and grabbed hold of the boy's arm once more, "It's not safe to speak out here, follow me." She dragged him along until they were in a small house almost on the outskirts of town.

Once Firo was inside the house, the woman provided him with a new set of clothes: A pair of brown shoes that matched his shorts and an off white long-sleeved shirt. She also gave him a green cloak to wear when it got cold - though he kept insisting that his wolf pelt would keep him warmer.

The woman slowly sat down in a chair and looked Firo over. He was still relaxed on the bed that kept both uncomfortably close. There was a bit of a silence before Firo continued with more questions.

"How am I going to get the demon's blood all by myself?"

The woman stood back up and slowly moved over to the window, mumbling to herself in the process. "I wouldn't worry about that. . . You'd probably be a casualty."

"I'm sorry?"

She glanced back at him with a smile, "I have hired some help to get you to the cave a few miles away from this old house. Demons live in that cave and will be the perfect target for you- They are young and weak."

Firo leaned back on the bed and glanced up at the ceiling, noticing the many holes, which were probably the result of termites. "I hope the demons are friendly."

The woman turned her attention to the window once more, shaking her head at the boy's comment. "Demons are not friendly. . . They are evil creatures intent on killing and hurting others."

"So, that means I will have to. . ." He trailed off.

She gave off a grin, "How else are you going to become a member of our guild? You do want to be a Cleric don't you?"

Firo Vita always wanted to help people. Ever since he could turn into a human he wanted to be the thing people relied on. Whether or not this was due to his original nature as a healing potion, it was a strong instinct within him. The fact that he could only tend to injuries and couldn't revive people made him very envious. So, was it wrong of him to kill a demon who was probably bad? Could there be another way to learn how to use Cleric spells without the death of another?

Firo lowered his head, "Well, if that helps people, then I must do this." He went silent.

There was a heavy knock at the door and the young woman quickly moved from the window over to the entrance in matter of seconds. In the doorway stood two bulky men, one with a large sword on his back and another with two small swords at his side. Behind them was another figure with their face shielded by a purple cloak.

The woman gave off a smile along with a small bag of money and turned her attention back to Firo.

"You just have to kill one and bring back their blood."

Firo reluctantly nodded.
Dialogue Prompt: "I wouldn't worry about that. . . You'd probably be a casualty."
Characters: Firo Vita
Summary: Enters Firo Vita, a living healing potion that has recently awake from a long slumber. He has recently decided to become a Cleric since they are the only ones that know how to use a very famous spell known as, "Resurrection."

*MeAsTheNarrator Interview
Been so long since I wrote. . . hope this actually flows well and makes sense. This will hopefully be the start of a new story I am trying to create. I had a bit of trouble thinking up a starting point for Firo since he is... well.. so damn unique. As mentioned in his character bio, he doesn't have clothes. So the running joke will be that he will end up with clothes during every story (if need be). Hopefully this comes off as a dark fantasy adventure with little moments of comedy.

Edit: Fixed some punctuation errors that were extremely noticeable. Reworded three sentences... Even more errors found.

The Bottled Cleric


Image courtesy of *twent47blue:love:
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Vision: I love the way your words flow, it's like they fall off the page in a well thought-out waterfall from your fingers through the keyboard to the screen I now gaze at. It was a fine read, wonderful visuals, and even without too much description, the way the characters acted and the mannerisms in which you displayed the area were, to me, enough to give me a solid setting. I approve.

Originality: High marks here because, firstly, of who/what Firo is, because I have never heard of that before. Ever. And I am impressed by it. (= Second, a mouthy nun-like character. Cleric lady... I don't know what to call her. But she's no-nonsense and doesn't mind... well, speaking her mind. And that she was the one who spoke the dialogue prompt actually made me chuckle a bit. But you've got two spiffy characters there. The only reason I didn't give you full 5 stars for Originality was because of the demon's blood thing. Ehhh.

Technique: Same with vision, your writing and the voice in your words is wonderful. Your transitions in the story flow well, and it's not a case of TL;DR to get where you're going, either. Which is always a plus for those of us with the attention span of a folded napkin... anyway, that aside. You have a few grammatical errors in here, namely missing apostrophes. Those glared at me from an otherwise flawless story, and drained from it. Now, if it was intentional... you should mention it. >_> Just saying.

Impact: I found myself forcing to read through the second half of this story, and I don't know why. Maybe you had to force it out yourself? I'm not quite sure what happened. And when it got to the demon's blood to prove yourself thing, I groaned, because that's been done before, many times. Cliches aside, the beginning was wonderfully good, but something changed after he met the Cleric lady - the whole "That's my breast" bit made me grimace a little, too and think "Was THAT necessary?" and yeah. I wasn't an intense reading fan after that. Maybe it's just me, but I'm being honest here.

All in all, though, you had ups and downs, and this critique is just my opinion in a super-fancy format. You don't need to do piddly squat with your story if you don't want you.

What do you think?
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Zynnanna Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
excellent work
BetaBrothers Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Firo Vita...that sounds familiar..
MeAsTheNarrator Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh? From where?
BetaBrothers Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I can't remember but some sort of show.
MeAsTheNarrator Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You might be referring to is Firo Prochainezo from a show called Baccano. Never seen the show so I am not familiar with his personality or who it is. Lol just googled ^^;
Rovanna Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012   Digital Artist
Overall, I really liked it. I love Firo, he seems so innocent and naive. So this is how his quest started out. I'm going to have to catch up on the chapters.

The only major suggestion I would give is to let us in on Firo's feelings/inner thoughts a bit more at the start when he's looking at the sign. Otherwise, I like it. :D

"Though the ads never stated which kind of cleric abilities (add in "were required" or "they were looking for"), it was always their famous spell: resurrection. "
"After traveling with a few gangs of people - and being chased off by a few" - You repeat "few"
"Since he can already heal people" - 'can' should be 'could' (sometimes your tense slips throughout)
The phrase "a bucket of chilled holy water against his skin" sounds like a bucket held against his skin, rather then having it tossed over him.
"Thank you for stating the obvious!" This sentence sounds a bit wierd.
MeAsTheNarrator Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you luv! Yea I need to work on that... I think my weakness in third person is that I don't express much about the character and I write as if everyone knows all about them. I may need to go back and do a rewrite of this so that it's clearer and explains some of his decision making :D
Rovanna Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Me too. I feel like first has a closer pov, but you can't do it in a book with many pov characters.
MeAsTheNarrator Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
lol naming chapters after the character would get tiring and confusing if you try to do it in first person only.
weepingtrees Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012
I liked this piece, it seems like a fabulous start to Firo's journey! What I enjoyed about the beginning is how the system of clerics revitalizing the dumb warriors has basically replaced other character classes on quests. That gives you so many possibilities; out of work wizards and alcoholic rangers. :lol: It makes a lot of sense, besides. I found the way the cleric woman went out to grab him as soon as he'd basically left the guild was a bit abrupt, despite the overall fast pace of the story. Her explanation as to why she went after him made sense, to me the timing just felt odd.

I also like the way Firo seems so easily distracted by small details. There's a lot you can do that with that, especially going forward on his quest. I swear, when he reached out to touch the cleric emblem on her robes I totally expected her to slap him for touching her chest, hahahaha. I did like their interaction, though.

Odd little ducklings:
he was turned away a few words of prayer and a bucket of chilled holy water against his skin.
I feel like there should be a "with" in there somewhere? ;)

Where were you taking me?
Technically this isn't incorrect, because he did stop her from dragging him to wherever they were going. It just seems odd that he'd say "were" instead of "are", but as I said, this one is more just a nitpick. :)
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